The Trial of barrylawn
by dakoolguy
Summary: dakoolguy must enlist the help of Miles Edgeworth to stop a vile troll named barrylawn.


One day after finishing his chores, dakoolguy went to fan fiction dot net. First he checked his inbox for new PM's, but he couldn't actually read any of them because the people who sent them had him blocked. Then he went to the Ace Attorney section to look for new stories. Then he saw the most recently published story.

No... no...

"The Trial of dakoolguy" by barrylawn

dakoolguy felt like there was a burning-hot knife in his gut. He had always feared a day like this would come. A day when he would be trolled on fan fiction dot net. His heart was beating fast. He felt terrible. He was about to delete all his stories and leave the website, but then his face hardened.

"No..." dakoolguy said. "No. I must be strong. If I delete all my stories and leave, the troll wins. I will only be giving him what he wants."

Just then Miles Edgeworth walked into his bedroom. Ever since the trial of r/AceAttorney they had been good friends.

"What's wrong, dakoolguy?" asked Miles, looking concerned. "You look upset? And you haven't updated The Adventures of John Phoenix yet today... I was getting worried."

dakoolguy spun around in his chair (it was a swivel chair). "Edgeworth..." dakoolguy gulped. He gestured toward the computer monitor, not being able to find the words. Edgeworth leaned forward.

"Hmph," said Edgeworth, his face darkening. "I've seen this kind a thing before. A troll. They are parasites who write deliberately inflammatory stories in order to 'troll' for reactions. Trolls are a dime a dozen on this accursed website. But, this one seems to have crossed the line. He has used a real person in his story."

"What are you going to do?" asked dakoolguy.

Edgeworth taken out his cellphone and favored his friend with one of his trademark sardonic smirks. "Hmph, what do you think?" he replied. "I'm going to have him arrested. You can come along if you'd like."

Soon dakoolguy, Edgeworth, and Gumshoe arrived at barrylawn's house. Gumshoe pounded on the door.

"Open up, pal!" he yelled. "We know you're in there!"

The door opened slowly and barrylawn stepped out. He didn't look much like a troll; he looked like a regular person. It just goes to show that you can't judge a book by its cover.

"W-what do y-you w-w-want?" he stammered. "I-I'm not doing a-a-anything!"

"Objection!" said Edgeworth. "Stammering and saying you're not doing anything the second you answer the door is suspicious!"

"Nrrrhg!" cried barrlawn. Edgeworth had him on the ropes. "C-come on now! T-that's not v-v-very logical. I... I could just be a naturally nervous p-p-person. That doesn't make me s-suspicious or... or a c-criminal!"

"Objection!" said Edgeworth. "Oh, you are a nervous person, are you? Were you nervous when you published THIS? Take that!" And Edgeworth presented Exhibit A, The Trial of dakoolguy by barrylawn on fanfiction dot net.

"URRRK!" barrylawn's wig fell off (he was bald).

"Explain yourself, barrylawn!" exclaimed Edgeworth. "Or should I say... r/barrylawn? Because I have a sneaking suspicion that you are, in fact, a fan of r/AceAttorney! That's why you wrote this story... as revenge for dakoolguy's story!"

barrylawn did his breakdown animation like the characters from the games do and he fell to his knees. "Fine, I admit it! I wrote that story! But it was just a joke! I didn't mean to cause any harm!"

"Cyberbullying is not a joke, Mr. barrylawn," said Edgeworth severely. "It is a crime. When you cyberbully, you risk hurting someone's feelings and making them feel bad. And if the cyberbullying is severe enough, the person getting bullied might do something drastic, like delete his account or even worse, commit suicide. The police have been over your fan fiction dot net account. You have been writing troll stories for a long, long time. In that light, your most recent fic can hardly be considered a mere 'mistake' or a 'joke'. You knew exactly what you were doing, and you knew the risks and what effect your story could have on dakoolguy's self esteem."

"I'LL DELETE IT" barrylawn cried. "I'LL DELETE IT ALL JUST PLEASE LET ME GO"

Edgeworth shook his head. "It's too late for that, barrylawn. You must be tried for you crimes. Just like any other criminal. Detective, take him away."

"With pleasure, sir," replied Gumshoe, cuffing barrylawn. "You know, I always thought garbage day was Wednesday!" And he threw barrylawn into the police car and drove away.

"Thanks for all your help, Edgeworth," said dakoolguy.

"You are most welcome, dakoolguy," he replied. "Of course, while that troll has been taken into custody, there's still the matter of the trial. Would you like to be my co-consul?"

"Sure," replied dakoolguy. "That'd be great."

So dakoolguy and Edgeworth went to court for barrylawn's trial. Phoenix Wright was the defense attorney.

"Don't worry, dakoolguy," said Phoenix Wright. "I hate trolls as much you do. I will help you get your guilty verdict."

The judge slammed his gavel and called the defendant to the stand.

"State your name and occupation for the court!" ordered the judge.

"barrylawn-"

"GUILTY" and the judge gaveled again. "Balif, take him away!" And barrylawn was taken away and sentenced to life in jail.

"Good," said dakoolguy. "Now I won't be bullied or trolled by that guy anymore."

Edgeworth patted dakoolguy on the shoulder. "That's right, dakoolguy," he said. "And don't worry, even if there are other trolls out there who try to mess with you, you'll always have your friends to help you."

"Thanks... Miles..." said dakoolguy. "How about we go get some ice cream?"

"Sounds like a plan," grinned Edgeworth.

"Count me in!" interjected Phoenix. Edgeworth looked at him slyly.

"Of course, since Wright here didn't do anything to help stop the troll, it's only fair that he pay for the ice cream."

Phoenix got red in the face and yelled, "Objection!"

The End


End file.
